well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize