dude i'm inner monologue high
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
A+ Viking dick
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
