I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
