yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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