she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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