i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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