Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
