The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
