The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
