Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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