making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize