People in love make me want to vomit
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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