That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
