:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if only i could text you this smell
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
