took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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