I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
