This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
where am i from again
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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