Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
When did angry sex become our thing?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
