He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
