i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
