I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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