were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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