I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
