So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
