Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
