Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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