Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
