Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize