Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
