Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
