no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
