He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
