My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
