ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
