Midget sex pt 2 tonight
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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