Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
