Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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