My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
