just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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