her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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