what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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