this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
