But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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