His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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