I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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