I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
