It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
jump out the window naked night went bad
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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