The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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