wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
