A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
