is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
the liver wants what the liver wants
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
