Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So here I am, sexting at work.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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