Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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