i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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