I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
