my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
