his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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