i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
