Whod you bang
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
