he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
