So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I understand Curling. That high.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
