I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
