I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
