I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
